How to Compromise with Your Partner

This idea actually came form Annie on the board. We all love our significant others, or we wouldn't be with them, but they aren't perfect. No Jason, I love
you, but you aren't perfect, and I'm not either!

We have to deal with our partner's annoying tendencies every day in life, but
when you are on vacation, they can seem to be a little more annoying because you are just trying to take a break from the every day. Here is how we deal with a couple of the small ones.


Jason and I have VERY different touring styles and it can get annoying when we
only go to Disney every few years. We want to see everything, but since we can
never go in the true down time, we need to do some planning. Jason is very
spontaneous when it comes to touring. He sees something and wants to go on it
RIGHT NOW. I think about the structure of the park, using fast passes, and
touring in the best way to see everything we want to. I don't use a touring plan
or make one in my mind, but I have a general plan or idea on how to tackle the
parks in our little time there.

We deal with it by compromising. We will go with a general plan and talk about
it beforehand, but we will take side trips when we want to do something. It
ends up working really well! Sometimes there are extras I want to do that he
doesn't, but we try to go back and forth so we each can do some of the things we
want to.


I don't know what you're talking about, Caitie, I am perfct!

I agree with Caitie that compromises are essential. I'm going to take it even one step further, in that we sometimes need to compromise on attraction choice, not just the order that we do them in.

We've talked in other columns about how we have to compromise on meals, and it works out well, partly because I like just about everything anyway. Attractions can be a little more difficult. For example, on our last trip, I wanted to see The Hall of Presidents, and Caitie didn't. We walked past it several times, and I wanted to go to it each time. I kept getting arm tugs to go to something else.

Finally, by the last day of the trip, when we had some extra time in the MK to do what we want, Caitie relented and we squeezed our way past parade crowds and got to see Obama's animatronic speak.

Caitie endured it for me, and survived the experience. On the opposite end, as Caitie said, I want to see everything. There are a couple of things we didn't get to, but A)like a certain Terminator, we'll be back, and B)which would I REALLY rather do, put myself through Stitch's Great Escape or let Caitie beat me on Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin again.

Come to think of it, don't answer that.


The other thing is that it is hard to get Jason to just sit down and relax. I love taking a day, hanging out at the pool, going to the spa, and spending some time chilling. I love beach vacations and he hates it. It is an easy compromise at Disney though. I don't get my whole day off, but get a couple hours every day in the middle where we can relax. We also do long, sit-down meals every night which helps.

Luckily, there aren't many annoying tendencies that he has, which is why we love going to Disney World together!


Confession time: I have a hard time relaxing when I know how much we spent to relax -- I can relax sitting on my couch at home, I have nice cushy spot with a footrest and everything.

Caitie likes relaxing on vacation though, and I learned that for me to enjoy our time in Disney World, she needs to take a break. I certainly have nothing against our dinners, in fact, it's one of the things I most enjoy about Disney. I do tend to get restless coming out of the parks to spend time by the pool or whatever " I can be on Space Mountain right now!!!

So, I'm like a little kid that way, I guess. The difference is I know that compromising on this, giving Caitie her relaxation time will put more fuel in the tank for us to go later, and it makes her enjoy the trip more. I always find something to amuse myself, just so long as we beeline it for Space Mountain as soon as we get back!

Added Note: After reading my part, Caitie said to me, "You're supposed to come up with your own things that I do that annoying, not just comment on mine!" Caitie likes to tell me what to do a lot, and I sometimes give in, so here it is: Caitie likes to take control of the trip. A lot of the time I let her because I think she gets a lot of happiness from being able to say what we'll do and when.

The simple fact is, I tend to be pretty laid back about the trip, as long as I get to do the things I want to do. Caitie tends to get the schedule in mind that she wants to stick with, and, so long as we do compromise to see the things we both want to see.

Do you and your partner/family have to make compromises in the parks? Let us know in the comments!

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Gray wrote on Thu, 03/10/2011 - 22:56:

Gray's picture

This is adorable, you guys! I like the he said/she said style of this piece.

J.P. wrote on Sat, 03/12/2011 - 04:06:

J.P.'s picture

Wow, you two sound a lot like my husband and I! I'm the planner, he's spontaneous. We've compromised. He lets me plan our days at disney but I can only finalize the plans that same morning that we're doing them. Therefore, most reservations are made through the concierge at 10am that day. We do make a few ADR (like for CRT) but otherwise it's day by day. It's a good system, and we enjoy it.

I'm glad to hear you've been able to find a pleasant compromise, too!

I also like how Jason's first 'complaint' is how "Caitie tells him what to do a lot"!

JeffC wrote on Wed, 03/16/2011 - 02:28:

I am truly lucky - Joe lets me tale control of the planning, and we've never argued or disagreed about what we want to see or do. I don't go into detailed planning, just enough to have some structure to the day....which park we start at, which fireworks on which night, and where to eat for table service. Everything else is pretty flexible and we discuss and decide as we go. We have the same key must-do attractions, and one we've done that, we stroll around and do whatever strikes us at the moment. We don't hesitate to park hop either if necessity dictates.

Neither one of us can sit still for very long, but we both enjoy taking a break from the parks in the afternoon and spending an hour or 2 at the pool. But we once tried napping in the hammocks at CBR, and lasted about 15 minutes before we both got bored :)

PS - you two are quite funny :)

Kristen H wrote on Wed, 03/16/2011 - 04:52:

Kristen H's picture

So, my husband is planning the dining reservations for our next trip, and NOT TELLING ME. This is going to drive me bonkers.

teacherdrama wrote on Thu, 03/17/2011 - 18:30:

teacherdrama's picture

I don't know if I could handle that! Not that I don't trust Caitie, but I would go nuts not knowing!

TL wrote on Sat, 04/12/2014 - 04:49:

TL's picture

My hubby and I have a great system. I plan the trip and he pays. :-) Actually I do plan the whole trip. I have him help me pick restaurants for ADRs from my short list but I do tell him which day we are going to which park. I'm a little (ok, a lot) OCD so I need my day planned but I'm willing to change plans the day of. It also makes it easier because I know Disney well and he had never been until our honeymoon.

Side story: When we were planning our honeymoon, hubby asked me where I would like to go. He said "Anywhere in the world" thinking I would say Europe or go back to New Zealand, etc. Instead I said Disney. He was shocked and he loved every minute of it!

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