Burger King Fragrance!?!?

Ha ha!! Thanks for the link!

Eau de Whopper.

Jim

On a good day maybe.

Annie,

On December 28, 2008 you stated,

>I like my men smelling like mountains, rivers, rugged things...like that.<

What about the smell of ocean surf?

Jim

Hey Jim -- are we talking "seaweed-y" ocean surf or "Soarin'" ocean surf? ;-D

bali: "Soarin'" ocean surf.

But that's a hypothetical answer. Despite membership in two dating services, I had only one date in 2009 (January 4). I went dateless from August 4, 1990 to October 24, 1999. I think that given my history with women, I'll go for ten years without a date.

Gotta love shutdown mode.

Jim

I can empathize with the dry spell! I've definitely had a few myself. I think "soarin'" ocean is great!

So the dating services are a no-go, eh? Are they online services?

Hi bali,

One of the dating services is online while the other is offline.

The online dating service is actually a "free" application with Facebook and Myspace. Called Zoosk, advertisements pop up if you state in your profile that you are interested in dating. Like most of the online dating services, it's free to browse photos and profiles, but you must pay in order to actually contact anyone. In June I paid for a six-month membership (at $9.99 per month) but found that no one was really interested in me. That is, after an exchange of three or four e-mails through the service, communication stopped. In November of 2009, I canceled the paid membership and then deactivated my account, citing inability to find anyone. The other day while on Facebook I closed ads for Mate1 and Zoosk, selecting "Misleading" for my reason.

Another "it seemed like a good idea at the time" moment occurred in October, 2007 when I shelled out $4,200.00 to join The Right One, enticed by a local website called VoorheesSingles.com. The company brought me into its Cherry Hill, NJ office to be interviewed and to fill out a questionnaire. It has a 12-month contract and an 18-month contract. I chose the latter because if I meet someone with whom I click, I can put my membership "on hold" for up to a year. Members get referrals by mail up to once a month (but no more than one a month)--because I don't drive, I'm guaranteed only one referral a year. I also pay dues of $24.95 a month up to 18 matches.

My very first referral, in early November of 2007, became my third (ex-) girlfriend. The relationship lasted only seven months because her adopted three-year-old son generally lost his temper whenever I was around (but was generally sweet-tempered when I wasn't). I also think my appearance didn't appeal to her for the most part. We broke up on June 11, 2008 when I told her that I wanted to date around (keeping my membership open, I had five matches between December, 2007 and the following May). Out of those five matches, I had two dates with two different women. Of the other three; one I couldn't get in touch with, one didn't want to go out with me, and the other stood me up. I admit that I screwed things up with Ingrid.

If it can't match you during your matching cycle (mine is the third week of each month), The Right One sends a letter saying so and gives a free month. Between May and December, 2008 I got no matches. Then a referral (match) came in dated December 30, 2008. I met her in her hometown on January 4, 2009 but we didn't hit it off--she said I'm a nice guy but too negative, and recommended that I read a book called *The Law of Attraction*.

I haven't had a date since. A referral came in late January 2009 but this woman had a leg injury for which she needed surgery. Then 11 months of "no suitable match" letters followed by a match with a 38-year-old disabled (from a stroke) woman in the next town over who also can't drive. When I talked to her, I suggested she call me back with suggestions for what to do. She hasn't.

Bottom line? Given my past sins, I'm not boyfriend material, and I think I had a slightly better chance of finding the right one before signing up with The Right One. I even told my best female friend, Pam, that I'm attracted to her, and that made her uncomfortable. I'm seriously considering putting my The Right One membership on hold; not because I'm in a relationship, but because I'm very discouraged and don't want to date anymore.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Jim

Jim, dating fiascos are the best, aren't they?! And it's never easy to determine whether you should just take a break and spend some dedicated (i.e. NOT looking) time alone, or if you should just try even harder.

bali,

I didn't meet my first girlfriend until I was 36. I have a feeling that if I try harder, I'll scare women off with an aura of desperation; but if I don't look, nothing will happen. Given this classic double-bind, I think I'm past my sell-by date. It's easier to stay home.

Jim