World Showcase Shock and Awe
I think America should invade, conquer, and colonize the rest of the World Showcase while we still have military superiority and numerical advantage.
First we'll annex Canada. We really should be one country anyway. Maybe they could annex us. Either way, we should be able to bring back Off-Kilter after that.
The UK. The UK and the US are kissing cousins anyway. I'm sure they'll go along with it.
France will immediately and bravely surrender. We will plunder their Grey Goose Slushie and Macaroons strategic stockpile.
Next into Morocco, where the Camelback Infantry will fight valiantly but ultimately fall to our smart weapons designed by Japan and manufactured in China. Bring back Mo-rockin.
Japan, a great ally will join the quest. No need for nuking them again. Sushi and Tsingtaos for the exhausted troops.
We'll invade the toe of the Italy Pavilion, have a pie and a pitcher of Moretti at VN, and exit mid-thigh to strike at Germany, a country that has known a few wars in it's day. Knock back a few Dunkels, oom-pah and onward we march.
Through the barren African would-be pavilion, bang the drum, have a Coke and then to the Frozen tundra of Norway. A School Bread and another conquest.
On to battle the yellow horde, who make our weapons much cheaper that we do and sell them back to us. No don't stop, the frozen margarita stand is oh so close.
Finally to Mexico. They're all trying to come here anyway. We'll just save them the trip. You're all American now. But Cava is ours!
World Showcase Domination!
The preceding was meant in the spirit of humor and in no way actually endorses American imperialism or colonizing the independent and autonomous nations of the Epcot World Showcase. Furthermore, we do not sanction the use of military force in the World Showcase. However we do approve of a purely defensive nuclear deterrent as we do adhere to the doctrine of Mutually Assured Pavilion Destruction. No offense was intended. No disrespect, all due respect, fuggedaboutit.
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